i am not a person of importance.

my existence is not acknowledged and my words are rarely uttered

im merely a random stranger to everyone; who they can talk to and forget about them the minute the conversation ends


85 Responses to “”

  1. You’re not that easy of a person to forget, as I presume.

  2. I closed it, got a drink of water and here I am again.
    Don’t underestimate your self.

  3. Actually I was refreshing the browser every 2 minutes, because I forgot my phone in the car, and I’m to lazy to get it.

  4. And now I seem like a stalker. -_-
    See this, wont make me seem so creepy.

  5. I dunno, seemed kinda cool.

  6. I see.. this can go on all night you know! so umm, leave my blog. lol

  7. And maybe I can’t sleep and want it to go all night, so not leaving 😛

  8. you woke up early; how in hell can’t you sleep already! sleep ya5i!

  9. How do you know that I woke up early….Who’s the stalker now ?

  10. I know, right!
    what brought you here anyways?

  11. Random ‘no pun intentioned’ browsing.

  12. ugh, and i thought i had a real stalker.

  13. But would the stalker say he’s a stalker ?

  14. It takes one to know one, so I’d know and obviously you’re not one so..

  15. Ever think a stalker would pay another stalker to stalk on his behalf ?

  16. where’s the fun in that?
    how was school?

  17. are you trying to trick me ?

  18. me? trick? never.
    I’m being nice, that’s all

  19. You think you know me, and trying to figure out who I am.
    Right or wrong ?

  20. of course i know you. i just dont want to spoil the moment and plus, i do want to believe i have a stalker.. sad i know so yeah

  21. Well you don’t know me and I am a stalker.
    I only stalk people who know how to put normal words together and make them more awesome.

    Not really sad, everyone wants a stalker, until the moment you catch them watching you sleep.

  22. well, only two people know about this blog one of them is extremely nice to me and a bit sarcastic so yeah! I know you

    haha wouldn’t it be nice to have someone watching “over” you, com’n!

    why cant you sleep?

  23. Well, I’m sorry but you’re wrong. I’m actually not a stalker, I just wanted to make a blog and named it coldbloodedgirl but that was taken and I had to see by whom.

    I can’t sleep because I think I don’t feel like it.

  24. LMAO it IS sooo you.. dammit i need one more clue
    i bet you know my birthdate but i dont know yours

  25. Trust me you don’t know me.

    Anyways I don’t know anyone that has their Birthday in January.

  26. You know how people keep saying that some things are better left unknown? yeah I wish I didnt know that. in other words, I wish you were the person I had in mind, no offence.

  27. Mind if I ask why ? Why you wish I was him.

    Fyi a good stalker can be anyone.

  28. I really don’t know.

    you are one of the two I have in mind cause a good stalker never approach.. any stalker knows that 🙂

  29. Maybe I want you to think I’m one of them.
    Ever thought of that ?

  30. You already said you’re not and I trusted you, Random.

  31. But maybe I said that to fool you to think…dart it, it’s to complected now.
    So I got something else we can do, you can ask me anyone question you want but not who I am.
    And I get to ask you a question and you have to answer.

  32. Yes I am, So bored that I’m only listening to music.
    I aint that easy, Birthday can tell you who I am. lol.

  33. So you can ask anything and you choose coffee or tea ?
    Alright coffee.

    Question: What’s the name of the person you thought I am ?

    • cause one of them two likes coffee and the other likes tea which makes you coffee and i bet its turkish.

      i have so many questions but im way too confused to ask at the moment

      sorry, i cant tell.

  34. What’s a Trukish ?
    And maybe I lied.

    And you agreed to answer the question 😦

  35. I see.
    I chose not to lie. not here. this is where i dont have to lie so yeah
    You didnt answer my first question so we’re even.

  36. That’s hard to follow, hmm.
    There you go.

  37. Maybe I was buying some time to think of one.

    • Or maybe you got really bored and dont want to seem rude? Its okay, Random.
      you dont need to send me kitties’ pictures to cheer me up. lol
      I understand. i bore myself sometime too so yeah
      no hard feelings ,, you’re free..

      • Actually I’m a rude person, if I was bored I would say so believe me.

        And to the question, why do you think so littel of yourself.

  38. I disappoint myself way too much. I expect a lot from people I care for. I over think and over analyze. I search for hidden messages in the silliest contexts. I daydream, zone out of my suroundings in a split of a second. I never complain nor whine therefore people around me think I’m a  showllow, care-free kinda girl. I dont initiate conversation unless im high on caffeine. I get flashbacks all night. I always get nightmares. Memories hurt me the most, the good memories. I hate me three years a go and I hate me now. I hate how much I care. I hate how nobody cares that I care lol. I hate that I remember everybody’s birthdays and no one remembered mine. Silly? Not really! My family remembered my twin’s birthday.. Can you believe it!! My twin! I mean the fuck!!! Am I that invisible? 
    I hate that I’m not someone’s go to person. I hate how Nobody needs me. Not that I need the attention but still.. I hate how everybody avoids talking to me and try to end the conversation as fast as they can. I hate how fast they talk just to get it over with me. I hate that my mother thinks I’m depressed. I hate the look on her face when she sees me. I hate my brothers’ reactions when I talk. I hate how they think i spoil their moments when i dont smile. I hate how my sisters act around me. I hate smiling. I hate mirrors. I hate the voices in my head. I hate how i keep hearing my dead aunt calling my name across the hall. I hate walking in the living room and she’s not there. I hate that ive never seen her in my dreams. I hate that all my family already dreamt of her more than once. I hate that the last thing she said to me that she wanted to die. I hate that i wasnt there when she passed away. I hate that i was there. I hate this house, the rooms. I hate how much i miss her. I hate that i cant seem to accept the fact that people die and I hate how much i look like my father. I hate that he was my best friend. I hate me when I cry. I hate how I can’t not cry when I think of them. I hate that i always lose the people i love the most. I hate how they’ve moved on. i hate how much i think about them. I hate that i let them so close to me. I hate pictures, songs that remind me of them. I hate that I can’t stop listening to them. I hate how I remember everything they’ve ever said to me. I hate how I remember the smallest details about them, I hate how i always wonder what they’re doing right now. I hate it when i cant call them. I hate to think that I’m bothering them. I hate how insignificant my call would sound to them. I hate that I’m just a name or a face in the crowd. I hate that few years later they will forget about me. I hate how scared i am. I hate the ” what if” thoughts. I hate how jealous I can get. I hate admitting it. I hate how much I can get attached to someone. I hate not letting go. I hate, just hate.. 
    I hate that once I believed loving them unconditionally would change my life. It did but not in the way I expected. I hate writing this down to a complete stranger. I hate the fact that you’re reading this. I hate how you think of me. I hate the stupid pity smile on your face and I hate that I posted my blogs puplicly ..
    I hate that I couldn’t sleep thinking who could you be? 
    I think I hate you Random 

    • after the second cup of coffee I realized that my long nonsense reply didnt answer your question. so here’s my answer
      I hate what I’ve become. I am what I feared to be years a go; a hollowed soul wandering around creeping the living crap outta people. lol
      I’m sorry you had to read all this.

  39. You’re not making it easy to write something after that.
    But hey we’re anonymous here so here I go.

    If you don’t disappoint your self then you have no dreams and no ambitions, you’ll be a person that is satisfied with anything that comes a long, I disappoint my self in everything I do, nothing is ever too good, nothing will ever make me feel satisfied of my self.
    Looking for more words, more meaning in what people say means that you try and see things differently, means that you don’t just hear or read something and that’s it, means you don’t want to get people wrong, you want to truly understand what they say so you wouldn’t misjudge what they say.

    I have a lot of stuff that I wish I could complain about but I don’t, the problem is I only never talk when it’s something that I really hate, I really mind, but I never say a thing and it builds up, I get that.

    I lie and say that I hate making new friends or that I don’t like most of the people I meat, the thing is, I don’t know how to make new friends, how to just say hey and then start a conversation, I can’t even make a conversation with my own brothers, I know nothing about my father and he knows nothing about me, I never talk to him, the only thing we say is, “did you hear what happened on the news today” that’s about it 2 minutes at lunch time and that’s it, I see him talking to my other brothers, and it feels like.. Actually I’m sure of it, he likes them more, they talk discuses stuff, and they go out with out even inviting me.

    The thing is, I’m smiling now not out of pity, I’m smiling because I see a lot of me in you, and I never see anyone that is like me.
    You say hate to much, you shouldn’t.
    I used to be depressed for a very long time, but I got over it.
    It’s not easy to get over being depressed, it’s not easy to make people change what they think about you, it’s never easy to change your self or anything.
    Saying you don’t care is a lie, it isn’t change it’s admitting defeat.

    I changed the whole way I think and see everything. I was in a vacation, and I was sitting by myself and a word just popped up in my mind, this word changed me completely. My depression ended, the way I talked to people ended, I didn’t get mad at normal stuff anymore, and I started liking my self more. I didn’t think of all the bad stuff I used to do, when I try to sleep I didn’t think of all the people whom I wronged and who wronged me.
    The word was, ‘Why’. Why would I treat my self like this. Why am I depressed. Why do I hate. Why do I over think some stuff that I shouldn’t. Why do I not think more about stuff that I should.

    Losing people is a very hard things to go through.
    I might not have lost people to death, but I have lost a lot of people, by them leaving or just not wanting to be near me, or by leaving them. I know its not the same, but what I’m trying to say, is I kind of get it.

    If you think little of your self no one will think more of you, Fuck those who make you feel bad, they’re not worth your time, just know, you are more than them and what ever they might be. Just like your self more, because you diserve it.

    Life is a pretty hard place to live in, and you just gotta find that right place where it’s not too cooled or too hot.

  40. Oh yea and if you think no one cares then why would I spend thirty minutes to write what I just did.

  41. I don’t what to say actually. Thank you?
    Can you imagine how many times did I read your reply? Looking for clues! It’s nice that you’re trying to relate to my life. At least the part I wrote. I appreciate it and yes I kinda make it hard for people to interact with me. I get that a lot lol. I just WOW them with my nonsense till we get to the awkward silence part which is the end of almost every conversation I ever had.. Lol right?
    Are we done with the questions? Cause I got one.
    Whats the most common lie you tell on the regular bases? The one like that fits every situation? The one lie you’re good at telling?

  42. That’s interesting. I usually get very bored while talking to my friends or family, and the thing I always say and lie about is that I find what their saying is interesting. Like when my brother talks about programing, or one of my friends tells about a game or something that happened with him.
    Thou I don’t like to lie and I rarely lie, I would consider my self a very good liar.

    by clues did you mean clues on who I am ?

  43. But why dose it matter that much ?

  44. cause I know that you know I know who you are and its just. I dont know..
    Part of me wants to know and the other still likes the idea of talking to a complete stranger. I rarely do that to be honest. it really feels weird to have someone reading my nonsense, I mean I thought no one comes here,, like never so yeah

    why you keep on replying? still bored from yesterday? no plans? Geez get a life, random

  45. Maybe I want you to think I am who you think I’m not, because then you would talk to me ha!.
    I keep on replying because I’m having fun talking to someone, and it’s been a very very long time since I had a nice conversation like this.

    Actually I do have plans but I don’t feel like doing them, and I just heard thunder this moment I think it’s gonna rain, yay.

  46. It wasn’t rain it was ice, and it ended 😦

  47. you’ll run out of fun here so I guess you better go do plans and stuff.

  48. Well I’m not bored, and what did I tell you about the talking bad about your self ?

  49. I’m sure you didn’t tell me anything about me talking bad about myself :/
    My heart is pounding, it shouldn’t :/ dammit

    Do you believe in soulmates?

  50. I actually told you more than once, I thought you’re the kind of person that reads between the lines.

    Hmm, soul mates, not really sure, elaborate if you may.

  51. Do you believe that every individual has someone that is similar to them, soulmates Or a twin soul as some believe. Someone who you can bond with for life and feel content around them. As if you’re seeing your own soul In a different body.
    Ugh, I suck at this .. Forget it

  52. Well I’ve always thought that there are more than one person similar to me, because come on there are like 7 billion people in this world.
    But I do think there is such a thing as a soul mate.

  53. That’s the same answer I get whenever I ask a guy about soulmates. I guess men just don’t want to believe in such thing. to come and think of it is is kinda of spooky lol

    Do you like marshmallows?
    That’s if we’re still doing the questions! It’s okay if we’re not lol

  54. Of course guys say the same answer because we’re all smart.

    Marshmallows, depends. If there’s a fire, like hot dogs marshmallows and other stuff.

    But eating them at random times, not so much.

  55. You live in Riyadh

  56. Where I live isn’t that important.

  57. Who are you then?

  58. I’m Random, haven’t we made that clear already ?

  59. Well let me ask you something, maybe I am one of the two people you think I am, or maybe I’m not.

    Isn’t it bad if I am one of them, and if I’m not ?

    Why not keep it anonymous ?

  60. If you were one of the two we wouldn’t be talking THAT much and most certainly I wouldn’t share such stuff. I don’t want to hope you’re one of the two. Both of them means a lot to me and I just don’t want believe that they actually care enough to be anonymous.
    I don’t know how much this would last! Maybe it’s a spring break thing. maybe its nothing.
    Believe it or not.. Nobody really cares and I do read between the lines and I sense it when ppl are drifting away ..
    Deep ha? Lol

    Im starting to like the tiny white marshmallows

    Your favorite breakfast?

  61. But if you care about them that much why wont you talk to them this much ?
    Maybe it is a spring break thing maybe a summer break this, which is longer, or maybe a longer season ?
    And if you are reading between the lines then what have you read about me thus far ? “btw I hate when people ask me questions like that”
    I like the white ones, but I really hate the pink ones, because they taste nice but they hurt my stomach later.

    Huum, depends on if it’s a vacation, and if it’s not then what day, like work day or weekend.
    Vacations I make my own food, and if it’s a work day, then Dunkin Donuts I’ll get a coffee and a croissant, if a weekend the Kudo.

  62. i dont want to force myself. im not FUN to talk to and as i mentioned before, people tend to talk fast to end my conversation so why bother in the first place and plus, maybe Im not that much close to them as they were to me.

    why do you think i care about what you hate?
    anyways no more questions..

    Small talks amazes me, they tell so much about the person. i love how it triggers the dark hidden side of a person. i find great joy in small talks, they’re harmless, nice and warm. yes i love small talks

  63. Now I’m offended, it’s like you’re saying what I say isn’t important. I told you that I’m enjoying this talk.
    Btw when I said hate I didn’t mean it towards you I meant that I hate when people ask me the question I asked you.

    Well they do tell a lot, I think I know a lot about you from these small talks.

  64. I bet you do, it has been a while since i babbled this much. frankly i dont remember i did this much of “talk” to anyone.

    you know what, when i posted my first public post or whatever, i didnt notice it was public, i checked the blog stats a month later and found out there were no viewers. I felt safe and thought i should post one thing every month. just to keep it alive. i want to look at it years from now and i hope, really hope that i will feel different about all this. I will be happy or at least content. I will laugh about all this years from now. and for once, i wont hate.

    do you think its possible? will there ever be a time when i can finally stop hating?

  65. You’ll see this in a couple of years and laugh on how different you are.
    and I am glade that you made this blog public.

    I’m sure there will be a time, it’ll be when you finally realize that you can do other things than hate.

    • Do you believe in signs? i mean like if something is meant to be it would work from the first try. no obstacles.. do you believe that you need to try more than once to get what you want? what if its not meant to happen? how do you know, Random?

  66. I don’t believe in Signs. If there is something I want I go for it, no matter how hard I fail I keep trying.

    There is nothing in this world that is “not meant to happen” if you really want it, do what ever it takes.

    You know the saying that goes, ‘The end justifies the means’
    If you are willing to do anything for what you want you can get it, the only obstacle is, if the outcome is worth what you are willing to do.

    Every thing and anything is possible, it’s just how bad do you want it ?

    • What if it was meant for someone else? What if I’m trying to take what isn’t meant to be mine? Isn’t it a bit selfish? And idiotic? I mean there must be a point where everyone stop and think, this is it, if it meant to happen it will! If not then its time to move on.

  67. Well that’s what is meant by ‘If you’re willing to do whatever it takes’

    I don’t believe that things are meant to be, it’s all about who wants it more. Example, if there is a job and it’s only you or someone else, would you leave the job for that person or do whatever it takes to get it.

    If you want something don’t ask, take.
    It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.

  68. You sure you wanna know ?

  69. Turki.

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